She is anybody's daughter
Unfortunately, not enough women are grabbing hold of this issue with both hands, especially high profile women sitting in high seats of power. They are not speaking loudly into their giant megaphones, using their power and influence to help prioritize “the world’s dirty little secret.” In this book of poems when I talk about “committed relationship”, I am referring to a woman cohabitating with her boyfriend. In a number of states cohabitation or common law marriage is recognized, provided the couple meets certain requirements as specified by each state. Too many parents--foremost role models for their sons and daughters--are not talking to their teens about domestic violence. They are not teaching their sons that it is wrong to verbally and physically abuse a woman. They are not teaching their daughters that they do not have to suffer the indignity of abuse in a relationship for the sake of love and acceptance. Just as importantly, parents are not explaining to their sons and daughters that hitting and love are not synonymous. They are not telling them that hitting does not make a boy a loving man; getting hit does not make a girl a loved woman.
Beginning at an appropriate age children must be taught the simple A-B-C’s of resolving their disagreements without loaded words, animosity and violence acting as in-house-counselors. There can be no holding back. Parents should not deflate the words “Violence” and “Abuse” when they have these crucial conversations with their sons and daughters. Softening of these words diminishes the focal point of the discussion. Teens need to envision the absolute destruction that abuse and violence causes in a relationship or marriage.
Unlike some politicians and armchair quarterbacks, I personally see violence against women as a front seat issue. There is no reason for it sitting alone and abandoned at the rear of the bus. Likened to the much touted politics of same sex marriage, homosexuality and abortion--all front seat riders--domestic violence, apparently, is not that horrendous in the mind of some people. Never mind violence often leads to the death of a wife or girlfriend.
Regrettably, it takes a high profile case of abuse and murder to capture the public’s attention on a national scale. The death of a plain Jane living next door does not warrant 24/7 media coverage. Too often she becomes a cold case on file. However, if Jane is attractive, preferably blonde, has a face the media can sell to the public by soliciting remembrances from family and friends, in conjunction with happy faced photographs and joyous videos--the grieving family will attract all the attention and coverage they want. These carefully collected components are sewn together with orchestrated media language, and spoon-fed to the public. And like magic the “pretty woman” tragedy swiftly evolves into a full-fledged feeding frenzy. Family members of poor Whites, Blacks and Hispanics and others can expect no more than four or five minutes of local coverage. They can dismiss any thoughts of around-the-clock national coverage. The definition of “interesting news” does not apply to every woman or young girl killed by her abuser.
In the section Crossing Over To The Brighter Side of Love, the poems are about love, lust, passion and sensuousness. These sensations should be prevalent in all marriages and relationships; unfortunately, they are lost in action when spousal abuse is the dominant commander on the battle field.
Standing some distance from fists intent on harming them; foul words intent on dismantling their spirit, there is no reason to feel threatened. There is no reason for them to believe they will ever be victims of abuse. I can understand them saying they will never allow themselves to get trapped in a violent relationship or marriage. “I deserve better than that,” they say. With conviction, I might add. Congratulations. Applause. Bravo. Cheers. Right on. These women and young girls are self-confident and smart. They value and respect themselves. That’s the way it should be. They deserve praise for knowing what they will not tolerate.