Trump attempts to exact revenge against President Obama using Perry and Bachmann

Pretend candidate Sir Donald Trump

They're back! Not the Halloween Cookie Monster or Frankenstein costumes! I'm talking about the Barack Obama Birth Certificate wash and wear costume initially put on the market by that foreign born woman named Orly Taitz. This German-born woman with a heavy accent, had the unmitigated gall to accuse President Obama of stealing the Social Security numbers of four individuals, using them all in states where he was employed.    

Just when we thought the costume was discontinued, abracadabra! It pops up faster than beer turns into piss! Or faster than a happy dog can lick its nuts. Did I mention the rabid tea party rants about President Obama being a Muslim? Yep! Muslim! Imagine that! Hawaii born Barack Obama successfully pulled off the biggest political hoax ever played on America! Hot damn the man is a magician.

It was not by accident that the Obama birth certificate mania was given new life by Texas governor Slick Rick Perry with the help of Sir Donald Trump. Sometimes desperate presidential candidates do desperate things to get attention and votes.  Slick Rick was granted an audience with Sir Donald to discuss President Barack Obama's birth certificate. The meeting generated a few more minutes in the spotlight.
 

Birther Queen, Orly Taitz

Slick Rick Perry walked into the media sunlight, adding his two cents to the birther mania. Hot damn! Slick Rick proved that he is a good ol' Texas boy who just wanted to have a little Southern fun at the expense of the President of the United States! After all, ain't no White man and woman in Texas, or the United States got to show respect towards this colored boy in the White House. Hell, the color of the "White House" says it all! It's the White folks house!

In 1868 a presidential candidate named Horatio Seymour had a campaign slogan that fit right in with the way White politicians and millions of White voters think today: "This is a White man's government"! And that implies, suggests, and says loudly that no Black man has a right to think he can be president of the United States of America.

Slick Rick,  a true Texan, would have thoroughly agreed with Seymour's slogan. Still in the presence of Mr. Trump, Slick Rick said in his lazy drawl--that's the way we talk down here in Texas --“It’s a good issue to keep alive. It’s fun to poke fun at President Obama a little bit, and say, 'how about let’s see your grades, and your birth certificate'”.  

You see, at the scheduled meeting with Sir Trump, Slick Rick agreed that this would be a good subject to retackle. The more pressure on President Obama the better! Hot biscuits and gravy! Exposure is like a fresh blast of Texas sunlight set free by the Almighty God himself!

Slick Rick Perry beamed with pride as he stood in the public spotlight, draped in his metaphorical Barack Obama Birther's wash and wear costume. He was ready to dazzle Americans, Texas style. He thought his spanking new birther platform was hotter than a pair sex crazed jack rabbits in a pepper patch. Sir Trump was pretty proud, too. His name would be in the headlines. Again. The media would write about him like he's a legend. Pundits would talk about him. Oh, the glory! This traveling road show was going to be huge! Hell, they were even going to prove that Barack Obama is not all that intelligent and smart! His grades, whatever they are, are as fake as his claim to be an American! Born in Hawaii? Hell, ain't that a foreign country?

Speaking of grades, the Texas governor, preparing himself to be president of the U. S. A., said everybody had seen his college grades. I had to laugh out loud at this, because stacking his grades up against President Obama's grades is like using a sledgehammer to crack a very small nut. A careful examination of the President's academic achievements would have told Slick Rick that he is "poking" fun out the wrong side of his mouth. I do not recall anybody being interested in how well he fared in the classrooms at Texas A and M University.

 Barack Obama graduated from Columbia University at 20, earning a BA. He entered Harvard Law School in 1988. He was selected editor of the Harvard Law Review journal at the end of his first year, and president his second year, a first in the university's 104-year-old history. Obama graduated  from Harvard with a Juris Doctor ( J.D.), magna cum laude in 1991, the year he accepted a two year position as Visiting Law and Government Fellow at the University of Chicago Law School. Obama  taught constitutional law at the University of Chicago Law school for 12 years. From 1992 to 1996 he was a Lecturer; from 1996 to 2004 he was a Senior Lecturer. He was a research assistant for scholar Laurence Tribe for two years while at Harvard.

Rick Perry attended Texas A and M University, where he was a member of the Corps of Cadets; the Alpha Gamma Rho and  was elected social class secretary. He was a Aggie Yell Leader. He graduated a C student with a BA in animal science in 1972. Since first publishing this article in 2011 Perry has been confirmed to be the secretary of energy, the department he wanted to dismantle, but could not remember by name in a 2011 presidential debate. He was selected to head the department by Donald Trump, America's latest president, elected  November 8, 2016, beating out Hillary Clinton. Slick Rick became governor of Texas when Governor George Bush decided to run for president. Perry finished Bush's term and ran for office and won.

Photo from 1970 year book.  Rick Perry is sitting on the far right edge of the couch

Harvard Law Review president Barack Obama (center) a year before graduation.

Donald Trump, during his wannabe candidacy for president, proudly wore his grades  but not too often. College grades are not as colorful, or media grabbing as a "questionable" birther's certificate. However, Sir Trump's imagination and speculation did not fall asleep on the job. He said Obama was a terrible student in college. He said no one remembered him attending college with him! He offered no proof. none of the people in the above photo remembers Obama. Trump told America that he attended the best university in the world--Wharton School School of Business, the University of Pennsylvania. 

"I went to an Ivy League school. I'm very highly educated. I know words. I have the best words," he reminded America.  And unlike Barack Obama, all of the students and professors remembers him! However, he did not offer proof of his "hugeness" on campus or in the classroom. Slick Rick Perry did not flash his college transcripts or grades, and nobody demanded to see them.
 
It was not enough for Trump to get drawn, quartered and dragged through the town square by President Obama at the 2011 White House Correspondence Dinner, May 1. With those in attendance and  TV viewers laughing at the President poking Texas size fun of  him, it was hallelujah hilarious!  Donald Trump did not like the joking and poking. He half-assed smiled through the joking but he was steaming hot under his coat of thin skin. The nerve of Barack Obama, an illegitimate Black president, dressing him down on national TV!

And then along comes other Republican candidates requesting an audience with Sir Donald Trump. Michelle Bachmann, via a teleconference call at a town hall meeting, was instructed by Sir Trump to regurgitate the home buying “scandal” in Chicago that nipped at the heels of candidate Barack Obama during his campaign. In 2008 the media and pundits attempted to create a scandal out of a nonscandal issue surrounding the purchase of the Obama's chicago home. The media and pundits can thank Sean Hannity at Fox for the blockbuster. The Hannity hatched "scandal" eventually blew over like a three-legged paper tiger.

The media and talking heads on TV said some funny business had gone on between Obama and the owner of the property. The home purchase costume was worn thin by the media and Fox . If Michelle Bachmann sewed the bits and pieces back together, she has not worn the costume in public. But the circus is just getting started. There is still time.

When the birther's costume lost its unattractiveness and gloss, Slick Rick Perry did the Texas-Two-Step off the stage to shed the ill fitting outfit. He reappeared and said it was a distraction. He did not want to play anymore. Tsk. Tsk. Sir Trump played him like a dime store fiddle. As a friend of mine would say: "He made a fair ass out of him"!
 
Asked why he revived the birther's question, Slick Rick Perry said, “I’m really not worried about the president’s birth certificate”. Being a sport he just wanted to let Sir Trump have some fun at Obama's expense.  Slick Rick's people did not tell him that "poking fun" may work in Texas but not on a national stage. 

And now Sir Donald Trump is left with his bitter bitchfest, birther's allegations, suggestion that the President may be a secret Muslim, and endless hours of bragging on Fox. The Obama roasting he got at the Correspondent Dinner is now in the presidential archives of hilarious history.