My locked up tears flowed again
I was standing in
my kitchen ironing
When the news
flash interrupted the
Regular programming on TV
Regular programming on TV
The date was April
4, 1968
When I heard
Martin Luther
King's name
I stopped ironing
Nervously
whispering under my breath
Putting it and my
brain on hold
Oh, God. No!
Not again!
But it was again!
And another
assassination!
My locked up tears
started flowing
Again!
I cried and cried
and cried
Only God and me
know how I cried
I cried easier
during those youthful days
My heart was not
hard and cold
Those days were
full of patriotic
Protests and
honest marching
In the streets of
America
I understood the
politics of freedom
But the politics
of death was what
I wanted to run
from
That's not to say
I don't understand
Death or painful
crying
I am not
personally acquainted with death
However, I did
have a close encounter
But I don't count
that incident because
I survived the
foolish dare
I don't cry so
easily these days
My tears have
gotten selfish
They have gotten
harder and
Tougher to arouse
out of their sleep
Violence has a way
of
Draining the body
and soul when it
Occurs too soon,
too often
Nonetheless, I
still get misty eyed
And sentimental
when
I hear one of
Martin's speeches
Especially the one
in which he talks about
Little black girls
and boys walking
Hand-in-hand with
little
White girls and
boys
Little black
children who should be
Judged for the
content of their character
Not the color of
their skin
Martin had a dream
Mahalia Jackson
reminded him of it
One August day in
Washington:
"Tell them
about your dream, Martin!"
Mahalia encouraged
him
And Martin
revealed his dream
Making America
dream with him
Parting with a
different speech in Memphis, Tennessee
Martin told us
about sick
Whitemen wanting
to
Kill him for no
logical reason
Other than to shut
down his dream
He had no right to
demand a fair and just America
These sick
Whitemen wanted to shut down
His ideology, his
politics, his righteousness
Their dry White
hate wanted still his voice
I've Been To
The Mountaintop
Is not repeated as
often as
I Have A Dream
But the speech was
just as memorable
It had an
important message
Martin was in
Memphis to march and protest
With striking
sanitation workers
They wanted
recognition for their worth
As working men
As human beings
Their posters
screamed:
I AM A MAN!
I AM A MAN!
They walked and
walked and walked
Justice had be
around the corner
Martin requested one of
His favorite
Mahalia Jackson songs
I think it might
have been
Precious Lord,
Take My Hand
No one could sing
it like Mahalia
It's one of those
old Negro
Tear-jerking
spirituals
And then Martin told us that he
Just wanted to
do God's will
He said he had
Gone to the
Mountaintop
God allowed him to
See the Promise
Land
Did you really
see it, Martin?
What did you
see?
My heart swelling
with the hallelujah of God
I felt empowered
to
Understand what
Martin was saying
Nevertheless, I
wanted to know what the
Promise Land
looked like
Not everyone is
permitted to
Climb to the
mountaintop
To see what Martin
saw
I vividly remember
The glow on
Martin's face that night
His face was a
lighted halo
Must be the glow
of God
I thought to
myself
Near the end of the speech
Martin said:
And then I got to Memphis
And some began
to say the threats
Or talk of
threats were out.
What would
happen to me
From some of
our sick White brothers.
Well, I don't
know what will happen now.
Because I have
been to the
Mountaintop.
And I don't mind.
Like anybody I
want
To live a long
life.
Longevity has
its place.
And I am happy
tonight.
I'm not worried
about anything.
I'm not fearing
any man.
Martin said his eyes had seen the
Glory of the
coming of the Lord
I envied him
because my eyes
Were not open
enough to see God
And the coming of
His glory
When Martin said: I
may not get there with you
I wondered why would God
Show him the Promise Land
And not let him cross over
Perhaps God explained the journey
To him as he did with Moses
The Book of Deuteronomy says:
Then Moses went up from the plains of
Moab
To Mount Nebo, to the top of Pisgah,
Which is across from Jericho.
And the Lord showed showed him all
Land of Gilead as far as Dan,
All Naphtali and the land of
Ephraim and Manasseh, all the land
of Judah as far as the Western Sea,
The South, and the plain of the Valley
of Jericho, the city of palm trees
As far as Zoar. Then the Lord said to
him,
This is the land of which I swore
To give to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob,
Saying, I will give it to your
descendants.
I have caused you to see it with your
own eyes,
But you shall not cross over there.
Martin was graced
to see what we could not
He did not live in
fear of dangerous Whitemen
Hyper hound dogs
and water
Spraying hoses
held with hateful hands
The prospect of
death
Did not scare him,
but still
He knew that
longevity has it place
He preferred it to
death
But God's will had
to be done
I learned from
Martin that
A man or woman
cannot achieve
The complete art
of living
While stuck in the
concrete fear
Unlike Martin, I
was straddling the fence
My false bravery
was too fearful of dying
I was not ready
for the mountain walk
Drum majors are
destined to stand
Out front for
justice
Refusing to be
intimidated
Strutting and
marching toward
Gun fired bullets
and
Fast thrown
bricks,
Bottles and race
tinged words
I wish I could
have known Martin
I would have asked
him to
Show me how to
dream about
Real freedom and
peace of mind
How to be
nonviolent when
Starring violence
in the face
I would have asked
him to hold my hand so that his
Strength could
surge through my body
Like a bolt of
lightning
Energizing my
weaknesses and fears
That were choking
the free life
I should have been
living
My fearful spirit
could not pull
My feet out of the
concrete
I would have asked
Martin to show
Me how to look
over the mountaintop
And not be scared
if I was not
Destined to make
it to the Promise Land
To walk and talk
to God
Standing in my
kitchen
Trembling and crying,
the iron in my hand
I wondered if my
eyes would ever
See the coming of
the Lord
(C) by dorothy charles banks
